


Bring Me Clarity

by TheConsultingStepladder



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi Goro is Bad at Feelings, Dating, Denial of Feelings, Eventual Relationships, M/M, P5R Spoilers, Pining, Post P5R, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Esteem Issues, akechi is a sad boy, akeshu - Freeform, shuake, the pt are good wingmen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25188571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheConsultingStepladder/pseuds/TheConsultingStepladder
Summary: Akira and Akechi are dating.Akira knows that and he's pretty sure Akechi knows that, 
but he refuses to acknowledge it 
and Akira is desperate to find out why before he loses him again. Maybe the ex Phantom Thieves can help?
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 15
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My shuake discord pals](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+shuake+discord+pals).



> it's been a while!  
> To be honest I was scared to write this because it's been so long but I joined a shuake discord and it gives me so much good food and inspiration I needed to write something, so here's a fic I based on a wholesome meme, aiming for three chapters at most eheheh

Morgana jumped at the bag that suddenly landed in his direction of the bed.  
“Hey, you nearly hit me!”

He looked up to see Akira looking sullen, slouching over to the TV and throwing himself into the seat in front of it.  
The cat stretched and padded over to Akira's feet, “Are you alright?”

Akira made a non-committal grunt and shrugged his shoulders.  
His expression was completely contrary to the one he'd worn this morning when he'd said goodbye on his way to meet Akechi in the shopping district.

“What's wrong, did he ignore you?”  
“He's not even ignoring me at this point!” Akira suddenly blurted out in a louder tone of voice than Morgana was used to,  
“He _knows_ how I feel, I know _he_ feels the same way, what's he waiting for?!!”

Morgana sighed loudly and leapt up onto the young man's lap; so their eyes met as they spoke.

“Well, I would say have you tried asking, but I know getting a straight answer out of him is like getting blood from a stone.”  
“More like a slab of marble; he's so cold all the time. Everytime I get too close he shuts down.”

The cat curled his paws under his body and raised his head to listen.

“I thought we'd just go shopping today, something nice and casual. We were having a really good time, too. He was even laughing a bit but then I-”  
Akira bit his lip in agitation. 

“- I tried to hold his hand. We were at Shibuya crossing on the way back to the station, it was crowded so no one would've seen....”

“...”

“I brushed the back of my hand against his and he yanked it away and shoved it in his pocket.”  
Akira made a sound through his teeth not unlike a cat hissing.

Morgana isn't sure how to respond, he looks down at Akira's legs and kneads his paws on them gently, hoping it conveys some sort of comfort.

“Is he not just embarassed? I know he doesn't really have that image to keep up now, but maybe he just hasn't done this sort of thing before?”

“He doesn't even mention it, that's the worst part. He doesn't tell me to stop or that he's not ready. He just pretends it didn't happen.”

The two are silent for a little while as the tension hangs in the air.  
Akira sighs and scratches the cat's head absent-mindedly forgetting for a moment he didn't consent to it. Morgana lets him off just this once because it does feel kinda nice honestly.

“He loves me right?”

Morgana lets out a long drawn out yowl of frustration,  
“Don't be an idiot of course he does! No one can doubt that after seeing how he is with you!  
You could make excuses for other people being friendly or flirty but not him! Akechi gave up pretending to be a pleasant guy a long time ago.”

Akira snorted and Morgana smiled at the sound.

He knew the cat was right. Akechi had long since dropped the princely act and he only ever made time for people he had the energy and patience for - but he always had time for Akira. 

Any date Akira asked him on, anyone he asked Akechi to come and hang out with, any task Akira needed help with, Akechi was more than willing to join him or at least postpone to another time if he had too much on his plate.

Now that he thought about it, it was kind of strange for him to be so lenient with Akira.

A few years ago when they first discovered the detective had somehow survived his ordeal, he was thrilled they could start their relationship anew but fully expected he would still be hard on Akira and practically make him beg for his time.

However, he was surprised by Akechi being very receptive; whenever there was the opportunity to visit Yongen-Jaya again, he would pop by to make plans with Akira or meet him at the station when he arrived.  
Not much else was different about him, he was still hard to read, sarcastic, moody and blunt. But as the time passed, Akira noticed that he smiled a little more here and there. 

Today was a perfect example of the kind of closeness that was slowly becoming normal for the two of them.

They had been shopping for new scarves preparing for the upcoming winter months.  
As they trailed through what seemed like endless aisles, Akechi stopped in his tracks for a moment and left Akira's side briefly, strolling down to a rail of scarves before returning with a thick, pine-green coloured one laid across his hands.

They both stood motionless for a moment, Akechi looking tense and uncertain, Akira confused about the sudden change in the other man's expression.  
All of a sudden he swung it forward over Akira's head and slowly wrapped around his neck. 

Stepping back, Akechi stared at him with a critical eye and a hand on his chin, gaze trailing up to his face down to the scarf and back again. Akira swore he could see him blush. 

He paused for a moment, then succinctly, shook his head and removed it from Akira's shoulders.

“No, I was wrong, blue's definitely a better colour.” he commented matter of factly as he moved to put the scarf back.

Akira's cheeks flushed so quickly he became dizzy and barely noticed Akechi return to his side.

“Should we try another store?” 

He felt, rather than heard, that smooth, warm tone down his spine and it took him a moment to nod in response.  
However just as he made a move to leave, Akechi halted him with a gloved hand and stepped carefully into his personal space.  
Akira immediately tried to dip his head so his glasses would hide the red of his face, but the other man was so close he could feel the warmth of his breath. 

Without a word, Akechi reached his hands up to Akira's collar and straightened it gently, tucking down the edges into his jacket, where presumably they had come lose from pulling off the scarf.

With a last small pat, Akechi quickly moved away from him and began to walk out of the store.  
Stunned for a moment, he came back to himself and jogged lightly behind to close the gap between them.

Akira felt it again, he was falling harder for him everyday.

And it was 

incredibly, 

inanely,

_frustrating._

Everything about them indicated they were a couple except neither one had said the words. Akira had tried, so many times, to be blunt, to make Akechi take him at face value.  
Every single time he was rebuffed or the subject was changed immediately and he didn't have the heart to embarrass his friend by having an argument in public. 

What did Akira have to do to make this happen?

His phone buzzing suddenly made his heart jump.

It was Ann, excitedly texting him and arranging a time to get dinner.  
All the ex Phantom Thieves would gather whenever they possibly could and this particular visit had been predated by the fates (or rather their schedules) aligning to allow them all to be here together.

> `**Ann** - HEY!!! <3 Are you ok with burgers later? `
> 
> `AkiRen - Thought we were doing dinner?`
> 
> ` **Ann** - we were but haru wants to go out and do something else after so we're just getting something quick. is that ok?`
> 
> ` AkiRen - Cool :) I'm going back into Shibuya soon should we meet up?`

“You're going out again?” Morgana piped up from his place on Akira's lap, paws leaning on Akira's arm so he could see the phone screen.

Akira made a motion to get up and the cat jumped down from him.

“I need to clear my head, seeing everyone will be a relief after all this.”  
“Well, don't let it get you down too much OK? I'm sure you'll work something out, you always do!” Morgana mewed, while sliding into Akira's bag.

Akira hoisted the bag onto his shoulder and nodded silently in response, with a smile that he hoped the cat wouldn't notice was completely fake.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akechi says dumb things, and angsts about his feelings the end.

“Good morning, Sakura-san.”

LeBlanc was quiet as usual this morning and the early sunlight was throwing patterns from the coloured glass shades across the walls of the cafe.

Akechi hadn't planned to come in on his own, unguarded by another person to tag along with but Akira hadn't answered any of the messages he'd sent the previous afternoon.

Sojiro peered over his glasses at the young man, frowning.

“I wondered if Kurusu-kun was in?” 

“No. He's gone out for the day with the others.”  
“Ah, I see....”

Akechi directed an empty smile towards him, as the thread of tension pulled taught between them caused neither of them to speak for a moment.

Feeling unwelcome, he began to turn on his heel when he heard Sojiro sigh deeply through his nose.

“Y'know if you're a paying customer I can't exactly turn you away?”  
He half smiled at Akechi and suddenly he wasn't sure how to respond. 

The small gesture of civility threw him off his usual carefully maintained image, so he simply responded with a small nod and took a seat at the nearest booth.

The older man moved to the back without a word, making his order up from memory and Akechi reached, with some haste, into his pocket for his phone.

No messages.

“Idiot.” he hissed, shoving his phone back petulantly.

He wasn't angry. He wasn't.  
It's just that, Akira was usually so quick to reply so this was unusual for him and he was... concerned? 

That didn't feel right. 

Worried?  
Not at all.

Angry?  
Ok fine, yes. He _was_ angry.

He knew something was up between them since they had parted ways at the station yesterday afternoon and stupid Kurusu either couldn't be bothered or didn't trust him enough to tell him what it was. Hadn't he learned by now Akechi was terrible at nuance when it came to emotions and smaller aggravations - especially if he was the one who caused them.

A small white cup appeared in front of him with a soft clink.

Sojiro spoke flatly 'Enjoy.' then continued setting up as he was when Akechi came in.

The smell was so good, Akechi let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, the tension coiling away from his chest.  
He couldn't wait to replace all his antagonistic thoughts of his ex-rival with the multiple sensations of a rich, well brewed coffee and was in the middle of lifting up the cup to relish the scent fully, when the door to the cafe opened once more.

“Sae-san...”

The woman at the door was startled.  
“Akechi-kun? Good to see you.”

She spoke and smiled with very little warmth but it wasn't altogether fake.  
She sat down opposite him but didn't make eye contact and acknowledged Sojiro first with a wave of her hand.

“Miss Nijima, how've you been?”  
“Good, thank you. Work's a handful as always, but I'm managing well.”  
“Hah, well I'm glad to hear it. The usual?”  
“Thank you Boss.”

As he turned away to make her drink she finally turned her attention to Akechi.

“Is Kurusu-kun not with you today?”

Akechi smirked and gestured around himself smugly .  
“As you see. He is not a permanent fixture you know, we do have separate bodies.”

“Could've fooled me.” Sae sounded amused.

Akechi clicked his tongue in indignation.“Don't mock me Sae-san.”

“I don't mean it like that, it's honestly quite nice to see you socialising.”

“Is that what you'd call it?”

He cursed himself at sounding so bitter which Sae obviously picked up on as she paused a moment before replying.  
“I'm not sure what else you would call it... unless there's more to it? I mean, I wouldn't be at all surprised if Kurusu -kun felt more for you than that, but as far as you are -”

“We are friends.”

He punctuated each word with a harsh grit of his teeth. They left a disgusting film on his tongue not unlike that he felt during his old television interviews with the bright studio lights and cameras boring holes into him, no room for the slightest falter in his voice. His throat tightened.

“That's all.”  
Slowly taking a sip from his cup, he hoped to have no further needling. Unfortunately he could see a light in the woman's eyes that told him she wasn't backing down.

“I don't know if you believe that Akechi-kun.”

He snorted around a mouthful of coffee.

Sojiro appeared briefly again and placed down Sae's coffee before disappearing into the kitchen.

Wiping his mouth with a napkin, Akechi shifted ever so slightly, so she couldn't directly see his face.  
“What do you mean?”  
“I mean, I don't think that you've been able to convince yourself of that. That you're just _friends._ ”

He kept the napkin pressed against his mouth, tense under her scrutiny and trying to keep his facial features in check.

After a moment he turned to look at her and dialled up his - electric, heart warming, yet completely devoid of real emotion - smile.  
He saw her recoil a little.

“And what do you propose I would do about it if it _were_ true? Jump into Kurusu's arms? Surprise him with a bouquet of flowers. Serenade him? Whisk him away on a cruise?”

The venom underlying his overly pleasant voice was disconcerting.

“I don't really take you to be that much of a romantic, but I don't see why you're so against it?”

Akechi laughed and it had a hollow ring.

“Sae-san, I didn't expect you of all people to be such a fool.  
We compliment each other well enough, and I can't deny that I have suspected Kurusu-kun of having stronger feelings for me than I had anticipated. However, you of all people should know that any more is impossible.”

“What are you saying?”

He gently laid down the napkin on the table and placed his cup upon it, then he pointedly locked eyes with the older Miss Nijimaa, a cold and chiselled expression displayed on his face.

“Akira Kurusu is a kind hearted fool.” He stated.  
“ He wanted to save me from myself and he has gone out of his way several times to do so. But in the process he believes he has fallen in love with me and let it cloud his better judgement. He is forgetting who I am, what I am and what I was.”

Who Akechi was to Kurusu, he had thought about that so much since they reunited.  
His rival - his enemy - his murderer. At a stretch perhaps, his friend?

Akechi was willing to admit they were at least that much.  
It was hard to deny that spending time outside of work and college, doing inane and pointless things for the sake of enjoyment and talking at great lengths about things of no concern, those times they'd spent together as of late could not be listed as anything other than friendship. 

It had taken some time, but he'd managed to open his heart just a little to allow himself to believe it was possible to forget enough of someone's past to be able to spend time with them pleasantly.

He'd even been with Kurusu a few times now in the presence of the other ex-Phantom Thieves and though the first few meetings had been tense and uncomfortable, the most recent ones had been more amicable and he had been actively included in the events.

Yes, friendship was acceptable.

His feelings for Kurusu however, now they were very dangerous and he knew to keep a plug on them.

He was never quite sure if he'd ever had a moment of realisation about those feelings or if the warmth of them had slowly settled into his bones over time, until he finally had to accept that they had been there for a while. And also, a lot longer than he'd like to admit.

There was something breathtaking and shocking about Akira Kurusu. 

He was never a disappointment in Akechi's eyes, always showing a new side to himself or reacting in a way he would not have expected.  
He was overall an average looking young man, with a little streak of handsome in his features and a charming smile that meant he had many female admirers. His soft voice and kind demeanour was bound to win him many hearts. But underneath all that Akechi had seen a ferocious creature with bullheaded confidence, a burning passion and unwavering drive that made it's combination with the rest of his person, utterly irresistible.

The boiling of his blood and thrumming of his heart when his felt Kurusu's pulse under his fingertips yesterday were still etched into his mind. The sparkle in his otherwise dark eyes when Akechi had tried the scarf on him was captivating and it had been a struggle to not linger on them.

But at the base of it all the lies and deceit lingered. Akechi refused to let Akira or the others forget what he had done to them.

The months he had maintained his cheery persona in front of Kurusu-kun, only letting the mask slip when it suited him, followed by the betrayal and the culmination of a pistol pressed to the thief's forehead. All to finish the path of revenge he had ridden for the better part of his life, nothing, not even Akira would get in the way of it.

Who in their right mind could forget those atrocities, never mind forgive them enough to allow love to bloom. 

It wasn't possible.

The silence was thick across the two of them in the cafe.  
Akechi felt it weighing on him, the world narrowing down to just himself inside the booth, walling himself off from Sae's penetrating eyes. He took a long sip of his cooled coffee that he hoped looked casual and tried to breath through the twisted feeling in his chest.

“I think you're making a lot of assumptions Goro Akechi.”

Akechi's eyes flew wide open at his full name and he met her gaze whilst remaining completely still.

“People are fluid Akechi-kun, they don't remain in one solid state forever, they change and remould themselves all the time. Don't you think perhaps...”

A loud clatter interrupted her as he banged his empty cup back down on the table.  
The eerie smile and overly sweet voice returned.

“Sae-san, I mean with with the deepest respect for you. Are you out of your mind?”

The woman blinked in confusion, her mouth open slightly.  
She didn't get a chance to reply.

“Love is a trusting, foolhardy and honest thing. It isn't reserved for someone like me and I've no problem with that.”  
She made a noise in her throat ready to respond, but he cut her off by stiffly standing up and leaving the booth, sickly smile still in place and placed his payment on the counter.

As he moved to grab his coat he looked back at Sae and the corners of his mouth dropped momentarily.  
“It was a pleasure catching up Sae-san, enjoy your coffee.”

He swung his coat around his shoulders and stepped out onto the street, letting all the air caught up in his lungs out with a deep sigh once the door had shut behind him.

* * *

> `**navi** - i need to talk to u`
> 
> `AkiRen - Everything ok?`
> 
> `**navi** - remember how I said I wasn't bugging leblanc anymore`
> 
> `AkiRen - Never believed you about that. :p`
> 
> `**navi** - yeah ok well when you started seeing HIM again I got worried`  
> 
> 
> `**navi** - not the point`  
> 
> 
> `**navi** - i heard somethin that i think you should no`  
> 

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ann is the MVP, I love that girl. Also sorry this chapter's shorter!

“He really said all that?” the straw popped out of Ann's mouth as she exclaimed at Akira. They sat in a booth at Big Bang Burger after Akira had told her about what Futaba had let him listen to that morning.

“What do you think?” he asked, tapping his foot nervously.

The blonde girl took a sip of her shake, “I guess to me, it sounds like Akechi thinks he doesn't deserve love at all. Of course he said it in _THE_ most Akechi-way possible.”

Akira nodded, “ I thought the same. To be honest that's why I asked you here...”

“Hmm?”

“I wanted to ask you... how could I... Um.. how...” Akira found himself choking up suddenly and he had no idea why.  
It's true Ann was one of the few of his friends he felt he could be honest about his feelings with and not worry he'd upset her.  
But why now, why was this so upsetting?

“Hey, it's ok.” She leaned over and squeezed his shoulder gently, smiling softly at him.  
“I think I get it. You're worried that means he'll never come around yeah? Like if this were anyone else it'd be ok, but it's _him_. You're scared if you bring it up he'll shut you out completely.”

Akira didn't dare open his mouth, his throat still felt tight, so he simply nodded.

“It's a tricky one for sure. He's already convinced himself that you don't really love him for who he is. Knowing how his mind works that might always be something he feels, even if you guys did get together.”

Akira clenched his jaw, what the hell was he supposed to do about this?  
Did he have to tear down the universe to prove to Akechi how deep his feelings for him were, to show him that he loved him for everything he was and had been. 

Even when he knew Akechi would betray them he still hoped against hope that he'd come through in the end. And then even after he completed his betrayal, Akira still held out hope that he was reachable, that he would join them to take back their world together.  
After Shido's Palace, he thought he had lost him for good and Akira had held onto his glove and his heart; he swore to let Akechi live on through him and to never let his name die on people's lips.

Then lastly, Maruki's palace, where Akira had to decide to let Akechi die again in order to bring the world back to rights and through the pain he had felt their justice was finally aligned and their bond was stronger than ever.  
He felt it would link them together always, through any plane of existence and in saying goodbye he was also telling Akechi he would never let him go.

To feel all of this, to have been through all of it together and to have the man himself reappear before him, alive and free of burden with a fresh start ahead of them...  
Why couldn't he understand that the past was the past and now it was finally time that they could move forwards together?

It was at the point where the other Phantom Thieves had also made mention of it, even after all Akechi had done to hurt them.

That's when Akira realised, the others...

“Akira?”  
Ann saw his eyes light up and his expression changed to one of steely focus.

“I have to ask you something, but you might not like it.”

Ann let go of her drink and leaned forward onto the table meeting his eyes. “Shoot.”

The conversation that followed took Ann by surprise at first but even more surprised was Akira when she readily offered up the information he needed, even smiling as she did so.

“Was that all you needed?,” she smirked, sipping her bright pink beverage once more.

“I might also need your help talking to the others. I don't know if they'll be as open as you.”

“No problem, I'll talk to them. I can easily work my charm on those guys” she laughed, “... Though Makoto might be tough.”

“I could use help figuring out how I'm going to show him too.”

“Oh like, how to make it something he'll understand. Yeah I guess he's not just going to take it all as word of mouth.”

“I'm not sure how to do this.” Akira fiddled with his fries as he contemplated just how this plan was going to work.

“Well maybe wait until you hear back from the others, I can always ask them for ideas too?”

“Are you sure I'm not asking too much of you? You're supposed to be on a break and...”

“Oh shush!” she silenced him, stealing one of his fries in the process. 

“This is my holiday and I'm going to spend as much time with you guys as possible.  
If that involves us putting our heads together to help our leader then sign me up! We always worked better as a team anyway right?” 

She winked at him and he couldn't help but smile brightly at her. 

Akira couldn't ask for a better friend and confidant than Ann when it came to his more delicate emotional problems and remembered how accepting and caring she'd been when he first admitted to her how he felt for Akechi.  
He felt a rush of affection watching her cute smile, as she practically bubbled with excitement, until she whipped out her phone and began texting rapidly.

“No time like the present right?”

Now he remembered Ann was also very impulsive.

“Wait - WAIT I didn't mean you had to do it now?”

“Akira we're only all here for another three days you can't leave this sort of thing hanging! Jeez no wonder it's taken you so long to do something about Goro-kun.”

Akira put his face in his hands, he hadn't prepared for this yet emotionally and started to worry about what on earth the other guys woul- 

_Goro-kun?_

Ann had said it like she hadn't even thought about it. 

Akira tried really hard not to laugh or let his happiness show at hearing Ann refer to the man he loved by that nickname, as she continued to frantically spam messages along to the other ex-PT members.

Goro-kun...maybe Akira should try calling him that some time.


End file.
